Friday, January 20, 2012

It's been a while, and not a great one. . .

DH is in massive denial of his diabetes.  I honestly don't know when he last tested his blood sugar.  He eats like there is no tomorrow.  He has regained all of the weight he lost when first diagnosed (and probably more) and is acting mentally unstable, to boot.

I have had what seems like one health issue after another since about Thanksgiving (heck, I'm in my 60's - I'm entitled  to have aches and pains and issues from time to time, aren't I???) DH keeps hinting - not quite saying outright - that having to "take care of" me is what is putting HIM on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

But he is doing stupid things that cause him problems, and I am not responsible for these things!  For example, when he drives, he gets very paranoid (worse, if he is especially tired or stressed-out) - every other driver on the road is OUT TO GET HIM!!!  If he starts acting belligerent toward another driver (one whom he imagines has "done something" to him but probably isn't even aware of it) I have to hope and pray that the other driver doesn't get belligerent back, because things could escalate in a hurry.

And he is way behind in a lot of stuff at work.  He could bring some of it home and let me help him get it up to date - I have offered - but he won't do that.  I have also suggested that he hang a "Do Not Interrupt" sign on his door at work and get some of the stuff done (he could get away with this) but he won't do that, either.

Because he has suggested that MY health issues are a large part of what is getting him upset, I have to "fake it" and pretend that I'm feeling hunky-dory, even when I'm not.  I'm older than he is - can't help that - he knew it when we got married - and I definitely have my creaky days.  But I don't dare show how creaky I feel because it makes him feel like there's just that much more burden HE has to carry.

I don't really know how to deal with all of this.  I think he has a meeting with his diabetes nurse sometime this month, and she is going to go through the roof (which will REALLY make him fun to live with for the next several days. . .)

Any suggestions would be welcome.