When diabetic spouse believes that if he has a burger, he simply HAS to have french fries with it? And if he has French fries, he has to have a gallon of catsup with those. I have tried and tried to both tell him and show him that you do NOT have to have those fries with burgers (I used to get the smallest-possible packet and eat maybe a half-dozen of them, just for the taste and texture, but then he would take any left-over ones that I would have thrown away and add them to his own plate, so I quit ordering them altogether.)
Or another case: if he has a sandwich - any kind - he believes that he simply MUST have "something crunchy" to go with it. The favorite "something crunchy" is potato chips. If they are not available (as they usually aren't, in my house,) he will settle for pretzels, corn chips, even dill pickles. But he will refuse to eat the sandwich, not matter how hungry he is, until he has rooted through the kitchen, refrigerator and pantry to find "something crunchy," or he can barely get the sandwich down.
It seems to me that this kind of "linking" - i.e, if you have A, then you MUST also have B with it - is something that must have been "conditioned" a long time ago, to be set so firmly and so irrationally. There is no reasoning or arguing him out of it.
Oh - and I also left out my favorite - ANYTHING chocolate - even something as tiny as a single Hershey's kiss or one of those TINY Halloween-sized candy bars - MUST be washed down with a full, 8 - 12 ounce glass of milk. Go figure. He can't just enjoy the chocolate for its own sake.
Is there any way to break these "gotta have it" connections???
Just thinking: one of the things that my husband has "gotta have" is a giant-sized vat of popcorn when we go to the movies, even if I tell him I don't want any. This is even if his blood sugar is high when we get to the movie theater. Then he eats the whole thing by himself and shoots sky-high. Very frustrating. I can only imagine how you must feel! How to break it? No idea. Our hubbies will do what they want to do.
ReplyDeleteH just eats and eats. there is no reasoning with him. He has no control over it. He will eat to the point of getting physically ill and regurgitating the food. It is disgusting. I will not sit with him while he is doing this. I very often eat alone when he is in this mode.
ReplyDeleteThere are certain foods that must always be present or he goes crazy or brings them in himself. They are loaded with carbs and lactose.
If there is candy anywhere such as on a counter at the bak, he will take some. No reasoning with him.
Lilly - I forgot about the vat of popcorn at the movies! And it has to have at least a gallon of melted butter on it. And we share a huge Coke. (At least we share one instead of each having out own.) We haven't been to the movies lately because I am trying to avoid this. OMG that buttery popcorn and Coke taste so good. . .but if I can say "no," I have trouble understanding why he can't.
ReplyDeletesar - It just goes beyond all sense and reason doesn't it? Today was my birthday so my step-daughter and her sweet husband took us out to dinner to celebrate. It was wonderful - but DH stuffed himself as usual and then he was mad as the proverbial Hatter when we got home because 1) we were out too late, 2) he has to go to work tomorrow and it was way past his bedtime, 3) he knows he overate and is afraid to go near the scales.
I probably should not be so selfish, but until then, it had been a perfect birthday, with calls, visits, cards, e-cards, and gifts from friends and loved ones. I tried not to let his insane temper-tantrum at the end of the day ruin it. He finally apologized when he was crawling into bed. I told him, "Aw, just think of it as the flame on top of the birthday candle! Ya gotta have sparks to start a flame, right?"
I was absolutely CRYING inside because it had been such a wonderful day, but I didn't want to let the magic go, so I pretended that his rage didn't matter. But it did. And it HURT. I don't know whether this was sugar or just fatigue. Whatever it was, it SUCKED.
1) we were out too late, 2) he has to go to work tomorrow and it was way past his bedtime, 3) he knows he overate and is afraid to go near the scales.
ReplyDeleteYour comments could be the same as mine when we actually go out. H refuses to go out late or at night at all. H does not work but needs to sleep he says because he is up sick so much of the night and gets up before dawn. H just gets sick as he stuffs himself and does nothing about his weight though he is fixated on the scale.
Well, I remember as I wrote the comment above, I felt like I deserved an Academy Award for "Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role." I was sweet, loving, understanding and soothing - when I actually felt like beating the living daylights out of him for acting like a two-year-old having a tantrum at the end of my magical, wonderful day.
ReplyDeleteWhile in Two-Year-Old Mode, he made some very hurtful comments that stung way down deep. I chose to let them go and not make a big thing out of them. I still don't know if it was just fatigue, stress or sugar imbalance talking. Whatever it was, I don't want it back in my house. IT BLOODY HURT!!! And by this morning, he probably doesn't even remember having said them. (We sleep in separate rooms, thank God, so I make a point of not getting up until well after I hear him leave.
He is often crabby in the morning too, so what's the point???)