Monday, July 18, 2011

Feeling Isolated - When You're with Him

DH and I just got back from seeing the last Harry Potter flick.  I admit it - I am and always have been a rabid Harry Potter fan.  I have every book and most of the DVD's.  I LOVED the final movie and felt high as the proverbial kite after seeing it and could not stop chattering like a squirrel or maybe a delighted school kid.

But my intended audience simply wasn't there. It wasn't like this hasn't happened before.  It has, many times.  But today, somehow, it hurt more.  The first time, I was happily chattering about a particular scene that had delighted me.  He was making listening noises and then exploded with "THAT SOB!!! They shouldn't let people like that on the road!"  So I tried to steer the conversation back to Harry Potter, only to get derailed seconds later by another storm of outrage about some other driver.  After a third try, I just gave up and stayed quiet.  He didn't bring the subject up either, so I realized that he hadn't really even been present to the conversation that I had been so excited about.

That hurts.  Here I thought we were sharing a wonderful  adventure together.  He wasn't even there.  Do I just need to buck up and learn to be a grown up about things like this? Quit talking about things that matter to me? Just pull up the big-girl panties at age 64 and keep stumbling along?

3 comments:

  1. I love Harry Potter, too. Read all the books, seen all the movies but the final one. So sorry that hubby wasn't "there" for it like you wanted him to be.

    I often feel isolated when my hubby is with me. There seems to be so much he doesn't comprehend or gets angry about lately. Or maybe he's just so self-involved with his disease, he doesn't realize that not every single thing is about him?

    At least you were able to enjoy the movie. Maybe next time, you could get together with a friend instead? Yes I know, it does hurt . . .

    Take care,

    Lilly

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  2. This happens with us too. i wonder how much road rage is really diabetic road rage.

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  3. This kind of behavior went on with my DH LONG before he was diagnosed. He used to be a lot more insane while driving than he is now. Somebody a dozen cars ahead of us would change lanes and DH would scream, "DID YOU SEE WHAT THAT SOB JUST DID TO ME???" I would say calmly, "He didn't do a THING TO YOU. He just changed lanes. He just changed lanes. People do that. It's nothing personal."

    He has mellowed a lot and realizes that 99% of what other people do while driving has nothing to do with him - unless he is tired, stress, or maybe sugar-whacked.

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